Silken Secret
"I wanna be a nudist and I wanna suck a cock."
I nearly sprayed my beer all over the kitchen table when dad said that.
Immediately, I started laughing. I get it, he didn't actually have a new year's resolution, and he was just being a smartarse.
"I'm serious Andy." He said.
Well, THAT hung in the air like a bad fart. I eyed him up, waiting for his shiteater grin to break out and a slap on the back from his big rough tradie hand.
But no, he was serious.
I had a million questions, but at that point all I could muster was a weak "Oh, ok then." And a long sip of my beer, while the fireworks went off on the TV.
New Year's Eve carried on and the next day I shrugged it off as bullshit.
But no, the old man proved true to his word. It was a stinking hot summer in Adelaide, and we were all just getting around in shorts whenever we could. Except my dad, who took to wearing just some aviator sunglasses out the back, scratching his dangling hairy balls as he watered the agapanthus.
As for the second part of his resolution...
So in my own little secret downtime, I occasionally go to the local nude beach. I get a little peace and quiet away from the wife, and sometimes I can perve on some good tits.
I suppose I was a bit hypocritical of my dad being a nudist, when I was secretly tanning my sausage outdoors too, but it was just a discreet now-and-then thing for me, not a lifestyle.
Anyway, to get to the beach you could take the public, very visible path, or cut through the trees. A lot of men used Option B to root each other, and I'd certainly stumbled across a few in my time. I just kept my head down and charged past.
Today though, I was stopped cold in my tracks.
Right there in front of me, on his knees, going for gold, was my father, sucking a big thick dick. Even more shocking was mum standing behind him, gleefully pushing his head forward until dad was gagging on the guy's wedding tackle.
I did a heel turn and legged it for the car before they saw me. So much for my secret downtime.
As the months went on it just got worse. I had to start phoning and planning well in advance if I wanted to see mum and dad, as I randomly rocked up several times to find Dad getting pegged in the living room by Mum, even as some random fella blew a load down his throat.
The thing is, this new lifestyle seemed to be working for him. He'd lost his pot belly, his hair seemed to be growing thicker, he even had a bit more definition. Early on he'd joined me at the gym (although mostly so he could parade around the change room naked) and now he was on par with me for weights and cardio. I refused to believe that a steady diet of cock and no clothes were the secret, but I had to wonder.
Eventually, on one of the few arvos when I was there and it was just me and him in the house, still drinking beer and watching the early autumn sunset, I brought it up.
"Dad, all this nudist stuff, all this gay stuff... it seems to really be working for you."
Dad, ever the stoic bloke, just shrugged his muscular shoulders and took a swig of his beer.
"I reckon it is Andy. You should give it a go."
"Oh nah, not for me, thanks mate."
"Don't be a pussy. It's just us. Get your kit off son."
I hesitated, but in the end, it was working so well for the old man, so maybe...?
I shucked my clothes off until I was just standing in the lounge room in my socks. Dad looked at me in admiration.
"That body's coming along well mate." He said, clapping me on the shoulder and then trailing his hand slightly down my back. I gulped as my prick suddenly sprung up.
Dad just laughed...
So the next year, as the fireworks went off on the telly, me and Dad were working over some rough closeted tradie. I was slurping up that fat dick while Dad's face was buried in his hairy arsehole. Mum sat at the kitchen table, chatting with my missis, both looking over occasionally and commenting on how hot the three of us looked. It was strange, but my dick's never been harder.
Yeah, it's all a bit weird, but I tell you what- if you wanna stick to a resolution, make it with your dad.