Midnight Return
Early on I really wanted to masturbate. It was a habit of mine. Every day. Twice a day. If I pulled in the driveway and no one was home, I'd quickly have a wank. It was a hard habit to break. In the first few weeks, I woke up a couple of times with erections in the morning. I'd be frustrated not just in the sense of wanting to have an orgasm, but at the blocking of my habit. Like giving up coffee or something. I've never stopped wanting to masturbate. I still want to, but it is less of a need.
At times, it wasn't so much wanting to have the orgasm as wanting the feeling of wanting to go away. If that makes sense. It is not like my balls actually ached. But there was, and still is, a persistent feeling in my groin of wanting attention. It is constant. If I am busy and involved in something, I may not notice it. If I am not busy, it can get very annoying.
Female domination has always been a desire of mine. I love Clothed Male Naked Female scenarios too. I love being nude in general. Beth's desire or opportunity to Top has come and gone over the years. Just the last couple of years we have added back service days where I would show up at her house and do cleaning. Vacuuming, dishes, countertops. Sometimes she had me do outdoor chores. Last year we added my nudity back into it. I wrote a bit about that in a different piece. Since she was gone so much it has only been with the last 3 weeks that I did any nude service for her. On a Monday, we were both available and I spent from 8:30 in the morning till 2:00 in the afternoon cleaning for her. She had online meetings throughout the day and would sometimes be in the same room as I was or in her office. I started off in my chastity cage but it was irritating and chafing so I took it off. I love being seen by a fabulous woman in the cage and collar.
I thought I would take off the cage and after a few minutes put it back on. I ended up not wearing it the rest of the day. It was an interesting experience. Like I wrote in part one, we have never had an affair, or sex. I've never seen her naked. I have massaged and worshipped her feet but that is the only touch between us. She entered the room where I was vacuuming and I stopped and turned off the vacuum to see if she had new instructions. It felt unusual to stand before her without the cage. She is a fabulous, sexy woman and I am a hetero (mostly) man and my cock was free as she looked at me. By that time it had been at least 130 days since I had an orgasm and over 100 since I last had an erection. I was flaccid as I stood there and that was exciting. It was erotic to be nude, collared and completely sexless in her presence. She knows everything. Knows I haven't been hard in months, that I don't touch my cock anymore, knows that I leak cum when I practice sucking cock. I really liked it.
INTERLUDE
Yesterday I had an unexpected service session. I work part time as a massage therapist and the spa is only a few miles from Beth's house. I only had one client at 10 so I went to Beth's house before work. I had about an hour. I let myself in and we had just a moment to talk before she had to get in a meeting. She told me to get naked and start work. I always start with the vacuuming. I vacuumed the entire first floor, the carpeted stairs, the upstairs hallway, the couches. I do a very thorough job. She never came up while I worked. That is disappointing but still hot. I left when it was time and went to the spa and took care of my client (more later) on that.
My other slots didn't book, so I texted Beth and she replied "come on over". I drove to her house, let myself in and took off my shoes. Before I could undress she told me to pause and follow her to the kitchen. She wanted me to clean her cupboard doors, handles everything. She showed me what she wanted to use and where the grubby spots were. She left for a meeting and I got undressed and got to work. Again, disappointed that she wasn't in the room, but still satisfying to wear my steel collar and nothing else. It took about an hour and a half to clean everything. She texted part way through "SPOTLESS". I love that. I had to leave before she came back out from her meetings. Later she sent me a text saying that, "I love my sparkling clean kitchen. Especially since it was done by my naked bottom."
Messages like that make me so happy.
My client was a male, early fifties, blue collar, strong, slightly beefy and moderately hairy. He fell asleep after a few minutes and I wondered what it would really be like if he were having sex with me. I really want to have sex at Naked Camp this year. I spent most of the time while I massaged him wondering not only what it would be like to be under him, face down as he fucked me. But also tried to imagine just spending time with him. His hands were really strong and rough from work. What would they feel like holding my head tight while his cock was in my mouth? I wrote earlier about how I want to make a connection with someone before I have sex. I think I would like to find one guy to have sex with several times during the week. It was an interesting thought experiment.
So that was one day of my chastity experience.
INTERLUDE OVER
It's now Day 149. Beth hinted that today there might be time for service, but I haven't heard from her. 150 is my chastity target. If she is willing to watch I really want to masturbate in front of her. If she isn't, I'm not sure how I want to finish. I don't want to just turn on some boring porn and have a wank. After investing this much time I want it to be memorable.
One idea is to continue the prohibition on masturbating but to allow myself to climax if I can do it handsfree while playing with anal toys. I think that may be possible. I tried doing ruined orgasms a few times years ago. There was another woman I played with and tried being submissive to. She wasn't very dominant at all, but she was willing to try. I did some naked housework for her and she gave me a couple of ruined orgasms. I would need help I think with that. I don't think I could ruin my own.
I've been close to orgasm a couple of times while I played over the last few months. But, as I am writing this, I realize that it has been several weeks since I got close to orgasm. I've been playing often with butt plugs and have moved up to realistic, life sized dildos in my ass. It is really hot and sexy but I haven't been close to orgasming or even leaking semen.
This is such an odd experiment. I think about sex all the time. I remember past lovers or experiences and want to rush over to Beth's house to serve, but my physical response has been fading. For a while, I was really freaked out about not having had an erection. I'm still a bit freaked out, but at the same time it is erotic to realize. Especially, if I am serving Beth nude and she knows that I haven't touched my cock in months. I can't explain, even to myself, why it turns me on so much. I know that my cock hasn't actually shrunk, but it seems like it has. Since it hasn't been hard in over 4 months, I've haven't seen it in any other state other than flaccid.
And it has been a cold spring so that doesn't help. I have thought often about just trying to get hard, without the intention of climaxing. When I've done shorter stints of chastity I would often do that. I'd watch some hot scenes, get hard but stop before orgasm. I haven't done that this time. I don't think I could play with myself to get hard an not lose control so I haven't. I honestly wonder if I could get hard if I tried. Intellectually, I am sure that with a little patience I could get hard. I might ejaculate before I even get hard, but then I could try again. My brain tells me that with an hour or two to play, rest and play some more I could be right back to normal. My body isn't so sure.
That's it for now. My next update should be interesting. Or Beth will just continue my chastity. I don't think she will though. I think I will be testing out my cock soon. Hopefully while standing before her, naked and collared in her living room.